Transformers, Robots In Disguise.

My children bugged and badgered until they finally forced me to agree to allow them furry balls of meowing love. I caved, I'm ashamed to say.

We had a cat, his name was Steve. However, Steve was an inside and outside man cat. He vanished into thin air in early September. Steve was a great cat, my neighbors liked him and appreciated the help in keeping the rabbits away. We hope whoever snatched him takes good care of him, and are happy with our cat.

Moving on, I finally agreed to a kitten. Ladies and gentelmen .. meet Optimus Prime ..

Current location ...

Technically, we got 2 kittens, the other is Road Rage. That one ... well My 8 year old is cuddled up with that one, and when she is up she's more concerned with running around than she is letting me take a picture. 

The truth is, I'm not a cat person. Cats are intrusive, and they can't be trained like my boston terrier. She's a nosy lady, and while she doesn't dislike cats, she is afraid of them, and cats take advantage of that. 

I've posted a letter to my dog before ... but I haven't posted pictures .. so let me show you my good girl. 

Baby Brittany .. and my baby boy .. excuse the stained carpet. This picture is from a home full of abuse, the stains were things like soda, blood, and other beverages that had been thrown at me over time. I make no apologies, I was just surviving at that time, and well that is a life I left behind. I kept this picture because it contains my 2 babies. 

Pregnant Brittany. This was taken January 16, 2014. The day before she had 10 healthy wonderful puppies. Can you imagine how comfortable she was. Poor Doggy!!! 

New mom Brittany, January 17, 2014 with all 10 squiggly little squirts. 

My babies just a few days ago. Aren't they sweet? 

Oh I finally got a picture of Road rage ..

The cat now won't leave me alone, and wants to keep sitting on my laptop. I told her, "Get off, I don't want fur on my stuff." She just looked at me, you know because I'm the moron talking to a freaking cat. Then, she climbed on the back of the couch, and now keeps going from one shoulder to the other, licking my face and then my glasses. Something is not right with this cat. I hope it's a phase, I don't need a cat thinking I'm it's buddy. She's just sitting on my shoulder, like a bird ... I HATE BIRDS. Why won't this thing leave me alone??? Damn it. Sat it on the floor, it jumped right back up, and it's on my shoulder PURRING! Just great. Wonderful. 

Whatever. This I suppose is my Fur Family. 

Now it's in my face meowing. I don't even know what it wants! I hope it doesn't poop on me or something. 

And here are some more pictures ... 

 Steve, my cat that has been taken by someone! 

My christmas tree last year. 

Fried Chicken! 

My boys! 

Princess messy face, my niece.

Secret asian man, cornholio .. my nephew. 

Really cool picture I took of Washy. 

The secret asian man playing in the lake I live on. 

A penguin that was rude to me. 

Have a great night ya'll!!

The Need For Greed

I wanted my blog to be funny, because I have so much humor, and I love to laugh. Sadly, it hasn't been so funny. For that I nearly apologize.

Normally, my life is drama free. Then my Aunt passes, and instead of allowing myself and my family any peace, I have this crazy ex husband that insists on creating hell.

He moved, at least he said he moved, he then said he hasn't moved but he is moving, either way, he won't follow the law on relocation, only giving me the name of the town. This isn't the first time, I have filed contempt on him before, in June for this same thing I have filed again, and we have court October 31 at 8:30 AM.

He has began a new campaign of nasty texts. Accusing me of abusing my son. We do not use physical punishment in my home. 100% because my children witnessed domestic violence, and now have a hard time understanding that when you are angry or when things don't go your way, the answer isn't to hit the other person. All of this, because I was married to a man that hasn't ever had any self control.

Yet there he sits, saying "the child had lumps all over his head the last time I had him." My child never has lumps on his head, unless he bumps his head, which hasn't happened in quite some time. First of all, if he had a bump on his head, I would have known and would have informed his father to keep an eye on him. If he had multiple lumps on his head, I certainly would have known, and if I didn't know, and he did, why on earth would he not say something? He also has the child for 1 day, he picks him up Saturday, and I go get him on Sunday. Why on Sunday when I picked him up would he not say "He has several lumps on his head, keep an eye on him." OR "He has several lumps on his head, take him to the doctor." OR since he is a parent too, a child has several lumps on his head, TAKE HIM TO URGENT CARE! However, none of those things happened.

Now, I did ask my son about it. He's almost 5 and he knows. His reply was that his dad hit his head on a chair, and it made him have a bump. He wasn't listening, and dad was yelling at him when it happened. The bump wasn't there Sunday when I picked him up, so it must have happened Saturday. Now, the child is going with his dad tomorrow,  and before he goes, I am going to have another person look my child over, probably an officer. I don't know what he is trying to do, and I don't know how far he will go.

After the ex made his accusations, he followed up with several threats. I don't take his threats lightly. He  is my abuser. He is inventing reasons to make threats, already trying to create a defense for the next time he beats me. I'm extremely concerned, and not real sure what I can do. Guess it's time to call the victims advocate back up.

I want as many people as possible to know, that THIS is DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. You can leave the relationship, but when you have a child with you abuser YOU CANNOT LEAVE THE SITUATION. Indiana law says victim or not, suck it up, and deal with your abuser. I am forced to deal with this from him every day, calling the police is pointless, I've called multiple times. With abuse, leaving doesn't matter when your abuser refuses to let you go.

What Goes Around Comes Around.

Dealing with the father of my 4 year old is always a nightmare come true. I mentioned in my last post, my Aunt had passed away. What I didn't mention is My Aunt passed away, and her death prevented a visitation, on September 10 I told him then that his visitation may not happen. She died on September 11, and within a few hours, I notified him that she had passed and his visitation would not happen, that was Thursday. Which lead him to begin his nasty barrage of text messages threatening to file contempt, threatening to take custody, telling me my son didn't need to be around a bunch of grieving people (even though the child himself was a grieving person). To all this I told this ignorant ass to remember his family isn't exempt from death.

Today, it came around. Joshua's great great Grandma passed away.

I would absolutely LOVE to throw back in his ugly face all the shit he said to me 3 short weeks ago. Pour salt in the wound, add insult to injury. Show him exactly how it feels to lose someone you love and have another person act like a cold heartless dick. Oh God how I want to. Unfortunately, I was raised with kindness, understanding, compassion, empathy, morals, and GOD, so I know how wrong it would be to do that.

So, here I sit, offering my child to a grieving family, with their broken hearts, and not digging and being a bitch. I'm thinking of great great grandma, how much my son admired her, and how sad it is that he only had 4 short years with such a special woman. I haven't yet told him, I sent him to school. I would like to wait to hand him such a crushing blow. It's so hard knowing that my little boy has to learn at such a young age that death is a normal part of life. My poor baby!

I've spent some time praying, for guidance mostly. It's so difficult being the bigger person, to not kick back after the way my family and I were treated while facing our own loss. I have had literally NO TIME to heal from anything. It's all fresh. My head screams to point out in every way the things that he said and apply it straight to him, but I know how unfair and selfish that would be. Damn self control!

I'll be myself, show compassion even though it wasn't shown to me. I'll show grace and mercy, because NO ONE, no matter how rotten they are, deserves to be treated with anything less. I will set the proper example for my child, I won't cause any undo stress on an already stressful situation. I will keep my own anger aside, and place my best foot forward, although its incredibly hard. I will do it NOT for the undeserving POS fool, but for my precious and innocent little boy, who deserves nothing but a supportive and caring MOM.

May you all have a blessed day and pray for the family. Loss sucks.

Where Have I Been???

I've neglected my blogging. What can I say single mom life doesn't always leave time! Sorry!!

Now, let me fill you all in on life.

 I'm still single. Can you see my smile? It's there, believe that! My children continue to grow, and continue to learn, and continue to be in my face at every opportunity. You know, KIDS!!

Towards the end of summer break, my Aunts health took a strong dive. After a month of trying, and doctors doing everything they could, her CHF won. On September 11, we said our final earthly good byes to her. I learned 2 things that day. The sound of a flat lined heart monitor is torture, and I can displace my suffering and appear to be a rock for others in every necessary circumstance.

The memorial service was wonderful. Lots of family I hadn't seen in so long were there. I got to share some great stories about my Aunt that made people smile and laugh. I was very close to my Aunt. We spent lots of time together, and my 8 year old, we shared. She was his Mare Mare, I still remember when she was MY Mare Mare. The best things in life are handed down they say, I can assure you, in this case they were right.

It's so hard to let go of someone you can't imagine life without. It was a hard decision for my family. People often lash out when they are in pain, to avoid this, and keep stress off my cousin, as a family we made the painful decision to stop trying to force her to live. We had done everything we could, the doctors had no more options, and one very rude doctor actually walked into our room and stated she'd be gone that day anyway. We wanted her to be comfortable, and be at peace, and so we all agreed to a D.N.R. we stopped all the IV drips, we turned off the bipap, and in less than an hour, we lost the glue that held us together.

Death is ugly, and beautiful at the same time. Our family crumbled together, and we picked each other up.

We made all the necessary calls, and the family from other places began to arrive. Seeing them helped us through what we now had to do. We had a family meeting to decide on the services, to hear what others would be comfortable with, to inform them what we could do. We chose cremation, and a memorial service at her favorite fishing spot.

At her memorial service, we had a chance to share stories about fun times with Mary. People were so somber, the stories just weren't coming, but I have a million stories, I spent tons of time with her, heck I moved here because she said she needed my help. I was pregnant with My 6 year old at the time, about 3 months pregnant when I came. So I shared a story about a time that my huge Benny Belly caused Mary to pee her pants. We couldn't pass each other in the hallway, and she was heading for the bathroom, and I was heading for the kitchen, and he bright idea of each of us turning sideways was a terrible idea in reality, and when we became stuck, she started laughing, and then through her laughter "God damn it, I pissed my pants!"

After her service, our family from other places had to leave. After they were all gone, the pain of loss set in. I went back to my house, with my children, walked in the door, and grabbed my phone. I sat it back down, sent the kids to their rooms, and I crumbled. It was the first time I couldn't call Mary and let her know that we made it home safely. It was the moment I realized I no longer knew what my place in the world was. I called my cousin, and we talked on and on. Which now, we do daily. We have only each other now. It's up to us to make a new glue, and get through life, and keep our children in good places.

We are doing fine. Our children are closer, as are we. My Aunt was the glue that held us together, and now her memory lets us see how important we are to each other. She left us new glue, she gave us strong bonds. The coming months will be grueling, the holidays are coming, and we will have no choice but to survive them.

With that I will pull this to an end. I will hopefully be able to keep up with the blog better, hopefully be posting once a week. May you all be blessed, and keep your families close.

let the kids GO TO SCHOOL!

I don't know where any of you live, but where I live the kids have all gone to school, about one day a week, since Christmas break ended. My little one misses a full day of school if there's a 2 hour delay. So, due to snow, freezing temps, and flooding, much school has been missed. I don't think this district realizes what they are doing to the parents, it's borderline abuse.

I can voice write my blog and that's awesome just wonder what kind of typos it's going to make. 

The Kindle I have artwork really like are the word willingness I just go to see the words dumb shit always comes out of my mouth so you just you just don't know what you going to get a wonderful insert commas can you tell by the infliction of my voice and I'm asking a question that shall interest

What the fuck is that shit? It doesn't even make any sense. That would work if I wanted to make my blog one giant run-on fucking sentence. The punctuation is missing, half the words are fucking wrong, I'm going to leave it like that because it's funny anyway. 

Look I can have pictures too ...

Half duck lips. 

Okay so the truth is, I got the new blogger app for my freaking iPhone and now everybody just has to deal with my shit until I'm done playing with it. 

Here's a picture of my puppies, they are going to move out soon, and I can't wait for them to be gone. They are really noisy and leave little poop turds wherever they go. 

Okay and one more picture and then I'm going to be done ... 

Piggy bank ass. 

That is all. 

Gross, it looks like steak tar tar down there ....

Though I don't usually say much ... scratch that.

I always say stuff, but the stuff I'm about to say .. is self important.

First, my entire family was supposed to stop smoking this month. I'd planned to quit slowly, and ended up quitting cold turkey sandwich in December. Gained like 20 pounds in the last few months, now  on a diet, I could complain all day about how I'd kill a man for a donut, but I won't talk about that right now ....

The point is, everyone should be quit right now, but they're still smoking, and only I quit! Sure, it's "healthier" but I enjoyed a cigarette with my coffee. I like not having to go to the gas station daily, and not running out of cigarettes at bad times, and having the extra money better though. I'm not "saving" money not smoking though, I do however have money to buy things like Swiss rolls, and energy drinks.

Did you know monster makes a coffee energy drink? I'm in love with it. Coffee, after all, is the original energy drink. I'm also a coffee addict. It's not a problem though, I can quit anytime I want, I just think it's better if I don't quit, quitting is for losers!

Did you see that? Up there, where I just bam change topics. Remember what I said about my college English professor, I'm pretty sure that's what he's talking about. Oops I did it again!

It's fun to read though right? Does it keep your attention be cause it's interesting, or do I have your mind freaked?

Also, my job has me working first shift, so I've not had much blogging time, I haven't had any. I do have a "funny moment of the week" though. I was at a table with 3 coworkers, all women, talking like we are men or something, and one says, "I never use toilet paper." I stopped what I was doing, and looked at her, and soon I felt the disgust on my face, so king into me, I was giving her the world's nastiest look! Had how I was looking not taken over, the conversation wouldn't have slipped into slow motion, and the rest of her statement "I use feminine wipes" would have followed normally. My look, and the rest of her statement sunk in, and I laughed so hard I could hardly remain standing.

Take care cotton balls!

and a little ity bity little drip of faygo

So today I introduced my 3 little boys to a food that I just recently met, for this post we shall call it sushi.

I love California rolls, with crab, cucumbers, and avocado. And that Wasabi sauce that accidentally touches your fork and turns your bite of sushi into a 4 alarm fire in your mouth. That bite that makes you spit sushi across the table, gasping for air, while everyone stops what they're doing to stare at you wondering what just happened.

Jay completely rejects the idea of eating sushi, so ok fine, picky eaters anyway right. Jam and Washy, they're foodies, they'll eat ANYTHING! Then, I give them each a plate, lobster egg roll, and 2 pieces of sushi. 

I've never seen food fly out of those mouths so fast in my life! Jam who ate 3 worms at the beach last summer yelled "it's so nasty!"

We also each had a bottle of faygo. The cashier looked at me funny as I sat the 4 bottles on the belt, white girl rapping "Send your momma straight up to the store, tell that bitch bring home a faygo" ... why he needs to look at me funny? Don't you people know faygo is nothing without ICP? Ok, so maybe my choice of rapping music wasn't fitting of a mom with 3 kids in tote, but it IS the faygo song!

Don't judge, this is mild, very very mild.