What A Merry Mess!!

THREE days until Christmas! It's the most wonderful time of the year indeed.

I have thrown away EVERY TOY in my house, we need room for the new stuff. I have hidden 2 tablets for my girls, they don't know they are getting them, even though they beg for tablets all the time. I keep saying, "Your dad said no, he thinks you are too young." He did say that, last year. He knows they are getting them, so he hasn't broken his act.

At least one of my ex husbands isn't a fool!

Oh yea, I have TWO ex husbands. Who knew that? My first husband, we get along, always have, we just didn't do well together. He wanted to buy them ipads. I said NO!!! Let me buy them some cheaper tablets first, you know, to make sure they do well before I let him dump hundreds on ipads for them.

Tomorrow night is going to be fun. We will be watching into the storm on pay per view. I've been dying to see it, so have my girls!! We have to start our baking tomorrow too. I have to stop and get pies, and oh yea, sweet potatoes, on my way home from work. My job doesn't give much time off for a holiday, you get the holiday, and that is it. Not complaining, some people don't even get that.

I'm totally enjoying having my oldest son home for the week. He's a little demanding to the little boys though. Making them preserve his "seat" on the couch, and getting him pudding cups ... in a year, he will be an adult. I hope that as an adult, he still finds time for Mom at Christmas. Is it sad that when facing the reality of children becoming adults, that is my fear?

I've been having an entertaining conversation with Ian all day long. He is simply a patient guy, putting up with me fumbling around and dragging my feet. He never complains either, he just lets me do what I do, and doesn't mind waiting. There isn't a pressure to hurry up, and for me that's perfect, I don't like to feel rushed. He does know he isn't expected to wait around, he is free to move on if he feels like it, but for whatever reason, he doesn't. Maybe he's more of a keeper than I'm aware, time will tell.

Ok my mind is really all too scattered, I can't hold a thought together, all the excitement of the on coming holiday keeps flying through my brain! I can't write!! I hope you each have a great Christmas, and if you have parents, love them! Hug them! Kiss them! Thank them! Enjoy your holiday with them, one day, much like me, you'll spend these holidays without them.

Merry day before, the day before, the day before Christmas!

Why Atheists Celebrate Christmas ...

Alright, so here is the deal. My douche bag ex husband trolls my blog. HELLO JARED! I hope you are enjoying my words. Ass hat.

Next.

Jared posted on facebook, in his normal asshole tone, asking why atheists celebrate Christmas. So Since he trolls here, and is about as knowledgeable as an Atheist when it comes to these things, I'm going to break it down. Based solely on things I know.

Christmas is a commercial holiday. The majority of people celebrate SANTA CLAUSE on Christmas. Not Jesus, not the birth of Christ, but Santa, the jolly fat man with his eight tiny reindeer, and countless elves living in the North Pole. HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS! The majority of CHRISTIANS fall into this category too. Including you, Jared.

The majority of the WORLD POPULATION is not Christian in faith, and yet Christmas is celebrated by the majority anyway. Not the Jew's though, who by the way, are GOD'S chosen people.

No one knows WHEN Jesus was born. Christmas prior to 313 AD (roughly) wasn't celebrated by Christians at all, rather, December 25 was a PAGAN Holiday, celebrating the birth of the unconquered sun. In that time somewhere, Roman Emperor Constantine decides to take December 25 and make it Christmas.

That' just a little historical back drop. You said you don't celebrate Pagan Holidays?? I'm confused.

While you go half cocked, making snide remarks about self centered people, you show your own colors. It's not YOUR God, it's EVERYONE'S God, stop with the ownership crap. You don't OWN anyone, and you certainly don't own GOD. Who are YOU to tell people they don't have any right to celebrate a man made holiday?

"Self centered people make for the worst kind of Christians." YOU said that .. um so you already then are aware of what you are right?

Let me tell you, from God loving perspective, it doesn't matter WHAT you believe. The fact of the matter is, because there is Christ in Christmas, be you to believe or disbelieve, you have to put a little thought into it this time of year. It's enough to plant the seed.

Don't listen to people that are foolish and find it their place to pass judgement on you, to tell you it's "Their" Holiday, for "Their" Savior, it isn't truth, and they don't speak love. They with their hate, are the reason so many stray and never return. Why would anyone want to come and deal with such selfish, uncaring, cold, and mindless?

If it makes you feel better, Mr. Christian better than the atheist, engages regularly in adultery. He enjoys married women. God doesn't. God doesn't like a lot of what the foolish do. He shouldn't celebrate Christmas as his actions are spitting in the face of the Christ who died for him.

May you all celebrate Christmas, and may no one put you down before it. If it's the only time of year that Christ lovingly comes from your mouth, you are blessed by it.

I hope you enjoy this blog post Jared. You sound as stable as you appear in reality, and only an absent minded fool would agree with your shameful spouting. Find God sir, worry not about others for you are none better.

PEACE!!!  

Peace!

Major changes have occurred in the last 24 hours. I now have SOLE LEGAL AND PHYSICAL CUSTODY of Washy. Good news for my boy, finally control has been removed from his father.

I'm a little sad though, I admit. I wanted wonderful things for my son. Wouldn't it be great if his father was interested in being a parent? Sadly, that isn't the case. He made so many excuses in court, the divorce was finalized 11 months ago, we have been separated for nearly 3 years, yet he called this "still fresh". No, it is NOT  something new, this is old stuff. If it's so "fresh" for him, why is he dating a married woman? Why is he insisting on taking my son around a married woman? Why does he pawn his child off on other people during his 4 days a month? Why such a lack of interest in parenting?

None the less, I have been awarded what I requested. Everyone is happy, short of ex, as he has lost control. What he fails to realize, is that he has lost control. His thought is "not during MY time." I make Washy's decisions, all of them. Yes, he gets his 4 days a month, but he has to respect and follow my decisions. Everything major to my sons life, school, doctors, religion, moral, emotional, upbringing, all my choice. He already protests my decisions, I don't care though, he doesn't have a voice in these matters anymore.

More changes are coming, Indiana Guidelines are no longer appropriate, and constant relocation and instability has been repeatedly demonstrated by the ex husband. As has aggressiveness and improper treatment of the 5 year old child.

I don't mind over nights, but no more than 4 a month should be necessary, I figure we can share holidays with me taking the first half and him getting an extra over night. The attorney will address the issue of him hiding the location of the child, leaving him with random people so dad can go to the bar, and refusing to provide proof that he has the child upon request.  She will also raise the issue that IPG grants visitation from 6 pm Friday to 6 pm Sunday, ex isn't available at 6 pm Friday, so I should NOT have to take Joshua, my other 2 children and myself out late at night to give ex his time. Not to mention that 9 or 10 at night is well past everyone's bed time. The fact that is was he choice to move far, it should have NEVER become my problem, more so since he moves EVERY 4 MONTHS ... give or take a few weeks.

It's never ending with this fool. Now, however, I have peace. He has zero control. He has to follow the rules. His church, which is a different religion than what we practice, will be receiving a call to let them know that Joshua is not allowed to attend. He needs to attend a church equal to his religion. I may make that phone call tomorrow, and clear this air quickly. I make religious choices. When a parent cannot control themselves, and is constantly abusive, this is the result.

I have had a revelation, I used to be non denominational Christian, prior to that, I was Lutheran,born and raised. I have always felt something missing though. There HAD to be more. Not everything could have happened in Jerusalem, and surrounding areas. What about the rest of the world? Indian's believed in God .. how would they know if they were here and everything happened there? I have decided, based on my own mind, my own faith, my own belief, the answer lies in the Mormon beliefs. There was more, things were happening here. Logical, and I have full faith. Now I'm not saying I agree with every little thing, some things I'm still unsure of. I think though, that I have found my place.

I just want to share, because for me, seeing kindness at its best, is a great thing. I see love, compassion, understanding, acceptance ... so much more than I have seen anywhere else. For the most part .. they simply follow Jesus. I like that. It makes me happy. It feels more realistic to me. I don't have to be frowned upon, I don't have to feel judged, I can act with grace, I can put my best foot forward. I feel freed.

I'm going to go now ... I feel like I should be doing something.

Be Blessed!

A Letter To My Niece.

Dear Butter Cup,

The day your Mom told me that I was expecting to become an Aunt, my entire world changed. I cried more than I care to admit. I was just so happy! I couldn't wait for you to come! I wanted a NIECE!! I prayed for a niece so much, and so hard, that a few months later I found out I was going to be a mom again, and I knew I would have a daughter AND a niece very close together.

My prayers were answered, one by one. In May a niece, in July a daughter.

The day you were born, I was huge, but still felt like I was walking on clouds. I looked at your sweet face and I fell in love, for the very first time, with the idea that there was a beautiful little girl, that I would one day give a crap ton of candy to, and not have to deal with the consequences of my actions.

I watched you grow, and watched my sister out do me at parenting sometimes. Don't let her know I told you that little part, it would give her an ego.

Your first word was Alex. Yep, your nearly 4 year old cousin. You loved him so much! He equally loved you. You guys were outside, and you were playing on your riding toy when you said it. My eyes still fill when I think about it.

I moved far away, and I miss you every day I don't see you. You have no idea how much I love you. I get so excited thinking about our visits. I love hearing from you!

I know, right now, life is hard for you. We love you though. No matter how badly you feel, even when we seem over bearing,  and get on your nerves. We need you in our lives, you sweet girl, are someone that can never be replaced. No one matters as much as you do.

You have grown into a beautiful girl, and at almost 13 are what I consider the PERFECT Niece. Everything I ever dreamed of times infinity. You're so smart, and so talented, and are just amazing. I brag about you to my Aunt friends, my niece has the voice of an angel and a face to match! They're all jealous because their nieces aren't as good as mine. *wink*

The only thing I want you to understand is that I understand life is hard. It's temporary though sweetie, things will get better. Everything that is swimming around your mind, it won't last forever. It isn't your fault, you can't help how you feel, but one day, not so far from now, you're going to feel happy again. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or next week, but believe me you will.

I'm worried about you, your mom is worried about you, and everyone who loves you is worried. We worry because we care. We want to help you. We want you to know and feel our love for you.

Christmas is coming!! I'm going to see you soon. As always I cannot wait! I just want to hug the head right off your body!

You can call me, your mom will let you use her phone to. I am ALWAYS here for you, distance and time never matter. I will drop anything I am doing if you need me, and please need me instead of allowing your feelings to control you!! I LOVE YOU!! I NEVER EVER IN MY LIFETIME WANT TO LIVE A DAY WITHOUT YOU! Please never give up.

Love and Hugs and Kisses!!!

Auntie Brooke

In The Mood For CHRISTMAS!

Christmas is quickly approaching!! Yay! I am SO READY!

The majority of my shopping is DONE! Between now and then, I'm sure the children will accumulate a few smaller gifts, but for the most part, I am ready!!

My girls are going to STOP COMPLAINING ...

Then my Oldest son is going to shoot stuff ... 

And the 6 year old will be with him ....

All while my 5 year old scoots around ... 

The 9 year old also got an air soft gun, but I didn't order it online, and didn't take a picture ... so yea. 

These are the special gifts I got them this year, the gifts I'm most excited about. I cannot wait to take the boys out to fire off their new guns! 

The boys are busy watching Rudolph's shiny new year on TV, it's also recording on the dvr. I have chicken in the oven baking, so dinner is preparing. I'm completely exhausted, but it's not even 5:30 so I have a while before bed time.

With all the boys getting guns for Christmas, I decided to buy one for "me" so I can teach them how these things should be used BEFORE they rip open guns that fire pellets, and avoid the great Christmas shoot out of 2014. 

I've already let them fire off a few rounds .. shooting at the poor unsuspecting tree out in our yard. The tree doesn't seem to mind having the pellets smack into it. 

My house is currently a mess. Tomorrow, I can't go out doing things after work, I need to come clean up the house in my 3 kid free hours. Luckily, it doesn't take long to clean my house, even when the toys are EVERYWHERE!! 

The coming weekend activities include Sugar cookies and pumpkin rolls! YUM YUM!! It's going to be a good weekend for my littles and I!! 

Guess I better wrap this one up, too much to do and not little time! May you all be feeling the spirit of the holidays! 

Missing!! PUDDING CUP!!

I had a chocolate pudding cup, I even put cool whip on top of it. I sat it down, because that's why. Now, it is GONE! I'm pretty sure the dog took it. STINGY DOG!

My weekend has been really calm. I got some extra sleep, and boy was that nice! I had some weird dreams though. Then I woke u with cat scratches on my right hand and wrist, and the kittens had knocked my glasses under the couch and spilled a can of soda I left on the stand, I was drinking it when I fell asleep watching tv.

I wake up, like where are m glasses?? I can't see anything without my glasses!! I have a serious squint going on as I search along the wall, remove couch cushions, looking everywhere. Then I check between the wall and sofa! FOUND THEM!! Damn cats! Why did they scratch me up?  Furry spawns of satan!

I had a dream that I was in my truck, and my boys kept getting out of their car seats. In my dream the car seats were made like those cheap ass doll strollers, but the bottom part of the seat had like card board in it. I totally balled them up and threw them. LOL! Cheap ass worthless car seats!

That reminds me, I need to call the sheriff about child seat laws, when I was in Ohio the law was easy, 4 and 40 pounds and then you needed no car seat. Indiana has different laws, and I have a 42 pound 9 year old .. *shrugs*.

I remember when I learned how to tie. My Aunt Virginia had tried and tried to teach me and I couldn't get it. Well it was winter, and Bobbie had a pink hat that had a ball on top and strings that tied under the chin. I was sitting on the floor behind my grandma's stand playing with the hat. Then I tied it! I was SO EXCITED! I jumped up and yelled "LOOK!! I DID IT!! I KNOW HOW TO TIE!!"

Teaching my boys to tie was so easy! I bought a shoe string book. The shoe String laced to the shoe in the book is half yellow and half purple. It has instructions on two different ways that properly tie a shoe, and there are pages that even teach how to lace. My children have went from completely not knowing, to being able to tie their shoes in 10 minutes. I love that book! Of course NOW that I need it so Washy can learn how to tie, it has been removed from the book shelf. The book fair is coming soon though, so I'll just buy a new one.

I decided after Christmas last year, I spent nearly $3000 on the children, this year would be FAR SMALLER. They will get 3-5 gifts each, and that is IT! One special toy, a book, snow boots, and maybe a few small things. All the kids are aware, and it's all because we have plenty of stuff. We actually need to rid ourselves of some things. I want to live a more simple life.

My thoughts are so scattered. It's the busiest time of the year you know. I just ordered 6 gifts, 2 for each boy, so now I feel I have accomplished something, I also have most the dishes washed up. I better get to my duties ... I have a vacuum that needs manned, so I have to go operate it.

May you all have scattered thoughts and be overly excited the Christmas season has begun!

Mi Vida es Aburrida.

So I'm sitting here minding my business, and Jam walks out. He begins talking to me about how late he stayed up last night. "twelve-fifty or maybe twelve-five, no twelve-ten. Well it was after eleven I think." He has no clue what time he went to sleep last night, but it's fine, he's 6! 8:30, 12:50, same thing right?

Then he says, "One time at school, my teacher told me to sit down, even though I wasn't being THAT bad, so I sat down and went to sleep at my desk." Jam is struggling this year with his first grade teacher, it's a mystery as to why, I guess they just don't really click. He thinks because they aren't in perfect harmony, he doesn't need to bother LISTENING to her, creating a few little issues. What he tries to do is submit complaints to Mom, thinking Mom will make sure he faces no consequences. Sadly my rules are, go to school, listen to your teacher, behave yourself, and do a good job.

I went to the school once, thinking the teacher was being nasty to my child. I was all feathers on, ax in hand, and let's do this. I found myself completely humiliated by MY CHILD'S behavior.

I TRULY think this meme speaks the truth. My child, made me look like a shitty parent. I am NOT a shitty parent. Sure, I could be better, all parents could be better. However, I'm far better than I feel I appeared at the teacher meeting. Jam is such a people pleaser, I didn't know what to say, he's never acted like this before.

We blamed his behavior on him. We agreed, should he continue to not listen to the teacher, he would get 2 warnings, and a third offence would get him sent to the time out room. That was in September, he was sent to the time out room one time, and has not been back. I was immediately notified that my child was sent to the time out room, he tried to hide in the hall way on the way too. Smarty pants knew I would find out if he went to that room, and he knew if he went there, when he got home, he would be in trouble for having to leave his classroom.

He came home, and he lost his tablet privileges and was sent to his room to sit in his solitude until dinner time. PURE TORTURE! You know what though, IT WORKED. He still has little attitudes at school, but one warning is enough. Yep, he has to go sit at his desk alone while the other children are doing something else, but I don't have to go back to school, I don't have to meet with his teacher, and I don't have to look like a bad parent. MOM WIN!!

My next grand adventure is meeting with Jay's teacher. She sends a behavior report every week. Occasionally he will get an O, which means he did not follow directions. He's a stubborn child, and he does have an "unspecified mood disorder", which pretty much means he suffers bipolar disorder, but since he is under 18, we DO NOT wish to diagnose him with it just yet. He tries his best, and has bad days. Treatment is VERY limited because of his size. I was too worried about the long term effects of abilify, and couldn't make it once a month to the psychiatrist to keep getting another month of pills. I would have to miss work, I would have to take points, and I would in the end lose my job because making appointments would point me out.

I recently found a new job, 5 days a week, 4 hours a day. I will still be able to work, and I will be able to get him hopefully back on medication. Hopefully he has grown enough and put on a little weight, gotten his blood pressure higher, and will be able to go on something OTHER THAN abilify. The O days will subside with medication. Until then, the teacher knows she will have to deal with the moods. She only marks him for it on his extreme days, when he will not even TRY.

Most of what I get for him are M's. M means late or incomplete homework. The problem is, HE DOESN'T BRING HOME ANY WORK!! He will say, "My teacher didn't give me any homework." I know he is lying, but with him not bringing it home, there is nothing I can do about it. So I have to meet with his teacher, so we can make a plan to deal with this. My boy is SMART. He knows what he is doing. He teaches me how to do his math, when he brings it home. His test scores are never below 95%. He gets two grades in math, one is tests and quizzes, one is homework. His quiz and test grade is an A- ... his homework score, a D!

For the record, I am not stupid, I know very well how to do math. I know 20 +50 =70. what I don't understand is the common core method of getting the answer, I learn that from my kid. Always remember, groups of ten people! It's 2 groups of 10 plus 7 groups of ten, not 0+0=0 and 2+5=7!
Just saying!!

Anyway, school issues get me down man! If I have to relearn high school algebra with these groups of ten, and find the value of x with groups of ten, I am in deep shit people, and I will be needing a tutor! They didn't teach me common core .... not even in college!

It's turning into a very quiet and boring day. The boys have taken to the WII, I've been thinking about putting thermometers in every room of my house. I know it sounds strange, but I want to make sure every room in my house is continuously 70, and the kitchen stays 112 because I'm baking all the time, you know, keeping it real. I spent yesterday making loaf after loaf of banana bread .... I still have to make at least 4 more. Or find a new way of using very ripe bananas. The boys don't like them frozen, and I have zero freezer room and so that is out anyway.

I bought 10 dozen eggs yesterday, giving me a heavy 12 1/2 dozen of eggs. Did you know you can FREEZE eggs? Yea, I need to create some room in my freezer to do so though, and I also need to boil at least 4 dozen ... possibly 6. Deviled eggs for thanks giving .. egg salad because sandwiches are good. I love eggs, I just fear we have WAY TOO MANY.

I'm going to attempt to make a pumpkin roll today too ... little nervous as I have never made on before. Wish me luck, if it's bad it's a whole lot of wasted time, and wasted food.

I have so much to do this week .. Beside the work and the kids, I HAVE to get to Plymouth I HAVE to get to the child support office, and because of a new job and new work schedule, I HAVE to reschedule dentist appointments, INCLUDING MY OWN. I think I'm scheduling a new one with a dentist CLOSER to my home. It will be easier getting someone to take and pick me up from my dental surgery if it is in the area.  I'm scared to death ... I know I'm going to be pretty messed up, 2 wisdom teeth have to be cut out of my head! OH MY GOD WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO DIFFICULT???

It's ok, I'm ok, I'm going to be fine ... that's for my reassurance, not for yours!

Ok I need to get onto other things, sorry it's so boring today, but my life is boring today.