Thursday, February 6, 2014

Start a blog they said ...

Well, I certainly am not a natural born blogger. My writing, as my English 101 professor would gladly tell you, lacks structure, gets off topic quickly, and becomes a mix that leaves a brain spinning.

I'm a single mom, my choice, not forced. I'm 17 years old, want proof? Ask my 5 year old. I may have mislead him, want the truth? Ask my mother. Who is she? Well that's easy, her name is mom, she lives at moms, and I must be kind of like her because my children often call me her name too.

I'm not a hippy mom, I'm not cool, I'm 195% embarrassing to my children. I like to let them be who they are, express themselves as they would like, and speak their feelings and opinions. This has tons of limits when they actually have feelings (beyond basic happy, sad, mad, hungry, and I have to poop) and opinions.

I have dogs, 11 of them. Cats smell, and I believe the world has enough lonely old cat ladies, so I decided to change it up. Or my little boston terrier had 10 puppies, you know, which ever is easier to believe.

As a reminder, Valentine's day is coming, single girls don't have Valentine's, and so I'd like to put this out there, I'm accepting any and all chocolate candies, specialty coffees, and diamond jewelry.

I'm hilarious, and I'm not saying that to look awesome. Or maybe I'm really really mean. Either way, people tend to walk away from me hyperventilating and with tears streaming down their faces.

I am sometimes inappropriate. You do not want me to speak at a funeral, and only at weddings if you don't mind random jokes at the wrong times. Such as, I performed a ceremony for a pair of people, whom I feel are special (not just short bus special either, although somewhat possibly) I cracked random jokes, so I wouldn't start crying. Also, clearly I am selfish.

There are things I can't laugh at, that make me angry, that make me gag and sometimes puke in my mouth. I'm not going to give examples because I don't like or enjoy any of the prior.

And that's all.

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